MEDIA and YOUR CHILDREN: Really making a difference and why

Written by: Martha (Marce) Nesslinger, Program Director and Primary Consultant

- How old should my child be before they get a phone?

- I know, I know, I don’t let them look at my phone except in certain circumstances

- I have blocks on their tablet so they can’t get to just anything

- I make sure they don’t watch violent things 

Do any of these things sound like things you’ve said or that you’ve heard from parents or even from yourselves?  Good – because then you are ready to really consider why these concerns come up for you and  you’re ready to read the rest of this information and really change something good for yourself and your children.

Electronic media is hurting our kids; well, it’s hurting all of us.  Yes, yes there are some good things.  It’s wonderful to be able to stay in touch with people far away from us.  It allows us access to news and information that would have been harder, if not nearly impossible, to find many years ago. Sometimes it does make things go faster – like typing and spell checking, addition and making a list.   So, there is some good in electronic media but there is much, much more to consider and if we are going to use this tool in our lives, it is like any other tool – it should come with true warning signs.

Eight (8) to twelve(12) year olds are watching an average of five and half (5 ½) hours of electronic media daily.  Thirty two (32%) percent of them “wouldn’t want to live without Youtube.”  But the problem doesn’t begin there… 

In one study, 63% of children birth to two ( 2) years had watched television for a minimum of seventy five (75) minutes up to three point zero five( 3.05) hours a day.    Screen time directly correlated to poorer performance on developmental screening in children at twenty four (24) and  twenty six (26) months.  Many, 58%, of  preschoolers are able to use and access technology more efficiently than they are able to tie their shoes (9%), ride a bike or swim.    Preschoolers are observably less able now to play with blocks, create something with a pen and piece of paper or engage in imaginative play than ever before. 

As we are called in to help with behavioral problems in early childhood settings the most frequent problems are children’s inability to self-regulate, increased aggression with other children and often, adults, early concerns of Attention Deficit Disorder and an increase in high risk behaviors like running away, jumping from high places, throwing larger objects.  It is of no small correlation that studies done by the American College of Pediatricians cite all of these traits as directly increasing with media time. 

Attention Deficit disorder directly reflects impairment of executive functions (higher level thinking and problem solving skills) in the areas of impulsivity, sustained attention, the ability to initiate a task, the ability to disengage from a task without distress, planning, getting organized to do things, time management, the ability to evaluate and notice self are some executive functions we all need.  Executive functions are things that must be modeled, taught and practiced over and over again to be successful skills that are readily available to use when a problem or situation arises.  Looking back at those areas of deficit, can you consider how none of these can be learned by simply “watching something two dimensional” (a screen) in front of one’s face?

Studies have shown that parental time in front of a screen positively correlates with children’s time in front of screens.  We are the models for our children.  The good news – both parents and children demonstrated more dialogue and interaction with each other while reading a printed book.   In one study, where children were observed with minimal empathy and ability to read emotional cues from their peers in five (5) days of no screen time, the ability to read cues and react compassionately improved measurably.  Neuronal activity – the active use of brain power, so to speak – is actively  and rapidly developing when children are young.  What they learn in the early years is not lost so building the pathways of curiosity, problem solving ability, compassion, creativity and true awareness in their world is something all of us can do with our young children effectively and easily.

Some crucial “rules” for media usage  - or non-usage! –

- Make sure children get at least nine (9) to eleven (11) hours of sleep daily

o   The “blue light in screens interferes with sleeping

o   Lack of sleep directly correlates to impulsivity and inattention

-  Make sure children have a minimum of one (1) hour of physical activity daily

-  Use mealtimes for eating only – no t.v., no movies, no phones

o   Obesity in people, including children, directly correlates with media time

-  Create screen free zones throughout your home

o   Not in the eating area

o   Not at the table where you are playing a game or doing school work

o   Not where you sit and talk together

o   No t.v. in the background – this correlates directly to the loss of the ability to sustain attention in children (an executive function)

- If children are seeing anything on a screen, spend time talking with them about what they saw, what the “game” goals were, how they viewed the characters, how was the situation like their real life etc. 

o   Children pay greater attention to images rather than plots or the story

o   Violence and aggression in problem solving can be seen in even the most kid friendly stories where the “hero” gets even with the “bad” guy; but unfortunately the child really didn’t understand the story – they just saw the aggression

o   “The relationship between media violence and real life aggression is nearly as strong as the impact of cigarette smoking  on lung cancer”  (from Health Effects of Media on Children and Adolescents, 2010 research study)

- More “on-line time” equals less “off-line” (real life time)

o   If the person you are texting gets your attention, then your real life child just lost that attention

o   If the character or game soothed your child, then your child didn’t learn that you are the person who loves them and wants to soothe them

o   Children learn about themselves based on what we reflect, teach and share with them.  What are we sharing with our children?

- The “tipping point” – the point where skills children need (and so do we) is right around 1 to 1.5 hours a day of screen time – we all (even I as the writer) – need to work harder at this

Some Ideas for Us All

- Tell stories in the car, sing songs, make-up “I spy” games instead of watching movies, looking at tablets, etc.

- Have “treasure hunts” outside and go for walks together, challenge children to silly races – “who can find 10 dandelions first?”

- Have a game night – play board games, card games, Pictionary and drawing games

- “Wonder” with your children – “how would you fix this?”, “what do you think would be best for having in the soup?”, “what’s the first thing you’d like to do together today?”

-  Read books; make up new endings sometimes; add your child in as a character and ask them what they would do with the other characters in the book

-  Stop reading this blog (yes, we all use electronic media) and go look at your child(ren) and notice what wonderful persons they are – have fun together!

References

• healthychildren.org

• American College of Pediatricians

• Desmond et al 1990

• Harvard Sleep Disorder Lab 2009